I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: An Interview.

The Austrian Oak is rightfully celebrated as an Hollywood heavyweight. Yet, at the height of his blockbuster fame in the eighties and nineties, he also delivered several surprisingly great comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its three-and-a-half decade milestone this December.

The Film and That Line

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger portrays a hardened detective who poses as a kindergarten teacher to track down a criminal. Throughout the movie, the crime storyline acts as a basic structure for Arnold to film humorous interactions with kids. Without a doubt the standout belongs to a student named Joseph, who unprompted stands up and states the actor, “It's boys who have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Arnold deadpans, “Thank you for that information.”

That iconic child was played by child star Miko Hughes. His career encompassed a notable part on Full House playing the antagonist to the famous sisters and the pivotal role of the youngster who comes back in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with a slate of movies listed on his IMDb. Furthermore, he engages with fans at popular culture events. He recently discussed his recollections from the production over three decades on.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I don't recall being four. Do you have any memories from that time?

Yeah, to a degree. They're brief images. They're like picture memories.

Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?

My family, especially my mother would bring me to auditions. Often it was a mass tryout. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all patiently queue, go into the room, be in there briefly, deliver a quick line they wanted and that was it. My parents would help me learn the words and then, once I learned to read, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.

Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was very kind. He was playful. He was nice, which arguably stands to reason. It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a productive set. He was fun to be around.

“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a major movie star because I was told, but I had barely seen his movies. I knew the air around him — like, that's cool — but he wasn't scary to me. He was just fun and I only wanted to hang out with him when he had time. He was working hard, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd show his strength and we'd be dangling there. He was incredibly giving. He bought every kid in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was like an iPhone. That was the hottest tech out there, that funky old yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It wore out in time. I also was given a genuine metal whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.

Do you remember your experience as being enjoyable?

You know, it's interesting, that movie is such a landmark. It was a huge film, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, the location shoot, the production design, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was new. That was the big craze, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the older kids would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I knew how, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all childhood recollections.

The Infamous Moment

OK, the infamous quote, do you remember anything about it? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word provocative meant, but I knew it was provocative and it got a big laugh. I understood it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given an exception in this case because it was comedic.

“My mom thought hard about it.”

How it came about, from what I understand, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Some character lines were written into the script, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they developed it during shooting and, reportedly someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, I'll decide tomorrow" and took a day or two. It was a tough call for her. She said she was hesitant, but she believed it would likely become one of the most memorable lines from the movie and history proved her correct.